Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Finally free from examinations! All that's left to do are to finalize some school works and prepare for the distribution of class cards. It's a big relief to free my mind from too much worry and stress. Now, I wouldn't have to think so much about school. Aww. My zit number would decrease! Haha.Anyway, I've been listening to a lot of sad songs lately. Not that I can relate or anything, it's totally irrelevant to the current status of my relationship (we're very happy) but I somehow find and feel emptiness whenever I hear these songs.
Maybe because I've been through a lot and listening to the sad lyrics of those songs brings back sad and bitter memories which I've worked so hard on just to be able to help myself from moving on. Those times were tough; because back then, I hoped for nothing but to love and be loved in return. I can't say that nobody loved me during those times, but it was just not the kind of love that I was hoping to receive. Don't get me wrong, when I love, expect it to be unconditional. But I've always dreamed of this kind of scenario wherein bliss would be the dominant feeling in the relationship, not just love itself.
I can't help but feel sad whenever I reminisce those times when everyone I loved seemed to take me for granted. They were great at the beginning, but as time passed by, they slowly faded away. I was always left hurt and miserable because I know in my heart that I gave the best that I can to maintain the relationships that I had but sadly, to no avail.
I'm not blaming anyone here. Things happen for a reason. It was not easy to decipher the reason of my heartaches but when I finally did, it was the most priceless moment of all. God was leading me to the right path all along. He helped me mold myself to become a better person and helped me learn the things that I have to know before directing me to the person that He created to make my dream come true.
Although there are still times when I still find it hard to understand why some have treated me as if I'm nothing, I feel neither hatred nor bitterness in my heart. All was forgiven. I found my happiness and the emptiness I once used to feel is now flowing with the love and the bliss that I've waited for so long to come. All these wouldn't be possible without the hurt that I hated so much. I am happy and contented. My last teardrop has fallen, and it's never going to fall again for another person.
