Saturday, July 5, 2008
Before I fill this post with loads of distasteful words and rants, I would first like to thank the Lord for blessing me and Memel a wonderful relationship that has been going stronger for 8 months last July 3, 2008. I love my man, and I'm going to keep him forever. :)Brace yourselves for a load of harangues because I am feeling rather bad at this moment for some reasons.
My boyfriend hanged up on me just because I disagreed with some things he said about his family. I won't barge in to details but the result was, he was offended and he went crying. He also kept whining about how awful his family was and how he hopes to stow away and live his own life and wish for a chance to pick his own family.
I've been through worse. He actually has no idea what I've been through here in our house and the things I've dealt with involving my family. I wanted to move out; to just escape from all the dramas that I've been seeing and kept being accused of. It was really bad. It was, in fact, dreadful.
Okay, I just got off on the phone with him and I'm bawling my eyes out because he thinks na hindi ko siya kinakampihan. Great. JUST EFFIN GREAT. Dahil lang hindi ako nag-agree sa kanya eh hindi na ako kampi sa kanya? WHAT THE ****. What does he expect me to do? Tolerate his wrongdoings and push him to do bad things and think bad thoughts? WELL SORRY FOR HIM BECAUSE I AM NOT THAT TYPE OF GIRLFRIEND. I want the best for him and I want him to be a better person than he was before. I am not changing him, by the way. I am merely bringing out the best in him because I know that deep within that facade is a more matured person struggling to get out. I feel so sick because I don't know what else to do. I've talked to him and tried to explain my side but he's just plain stubborn. He's so hard-headed and self-centered, he doesn't want to hear my opinion!
Oh my God. I am feeling soooo sick right now. I feel rotten because I can't find the right words to say to calm him down and make him understand my point. I feel like a bad girlfriend. A very bad one. Others know what to say and what to do but I, on the other hand, don't. It frustrates me because I want to make him feel that I could be the person whom he could run and talk to whenever he feels bad. Tough luck. My efforts are pushing him away. I am just not what he needed. I am not that person.
I want a Dark Mocha Frap. Straightaway.